freak lah
despite many funny stuff that happened these few days, i've been feeling like really really down? it's like im just wearing a mask to cover and hide my real emotions and feelings. like raawr. what's my problem.
and why i've been sad?
1. the people around me are sad. ok SOME OF THEM
2. school is like &$%#&. there's nothing to look for in school accept friends and band.
3. i feel tied down. i cant do anything i want at home. i cant vent my anger and I CANT EVEN LISTEN TO PUNK OR ROCK MUSIC. wth. then everything i listen to pop, my dad will start scolding like "WHY YOU LISTEN TO ALL THESE RUBBISH SONGS BLAH BLAH WHERE IS YOUR CLASSICAL MUSIC? THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULDNT HAVE JOINED BAND BLAH BLAH BLAH. " and it all comes down to BAND IS NO GOOD FOR YOU. YOU SUCK IN BAND. YOU SHOULD CHANGE CCA. YOUR SENIORS ARE A BAD INFLUENCE. YOU SHOULD GO AND DIE.
fine i really feel like going and die lah.
4. i dont know what's communication ANYMORE. i go home and hardly talk to my parents. the ONLY way we communicate is she scold scold scold. i dont even feel like retaliating anymore lah. im tired and sick of it. like wth.
5. our class. it's still like super scattered and nobody gives a damn. like nobody even gives an effort to go and try to mix around lah. why cant our class be abit more united like 208. we cant even decide if we want to wear class tee or p.e. tee for a simple occasion like CSM. we even QUARREL over a small thing like that. wth. can some of you stop being so pathetic? even if you dont like it, either one party has to give right? for CSM we could have all just wore class tee or all of us wear pe tee and then FORGET about it. it's just a simple matter lah. does how you look determine your character and your heart?
6. referring to the above matter, i think most of us are blinded by the outlooks and first impression of people, so much to the extend that we dont even bother to give a second chance to the person and to see if he or she is really what we thought of. fine first impressions are important, but that doesnt really determine your lifepath or something. it only carries like 30% of determination of what you'll do in life lah. and some of us is like: "oh that girl looks so beeetchy. she must be one." that kind of thing. rawwr.
7. im still dissappointed about band lah. it's like for the past 4 months we've been like putting in alot of effort and practising like sheeet for our band concert and NO ONE EVEN CARES. no one's supporting us lah. can you all like just think about what happens behind the scenes, where we put in our heart, our sweat and our time for this concert, hoping and wishing only for 2 whole hours of your full support that very sunday night at vch. and you guys are like : "$10 so ex!" dont tell me you so poor until you cant save up for that amount of money lorh. compared to your monthly allowance it's like peanuts lah! you every weeks save up $2 and all together you'll only need like 5 weeks to save up to $10 for our concert. the most our concert ticket can go up to is about $15?!?! even if we're not a very good band with gold with honours and all that but we took alot of pain to put up this concert and this is the type of response we get. wth.
8. same goes for the family concert. look. almost half of our class is performing and the name list of who wants to go for ny family concert is STILL EMPTY. if our own classmates dont even support us, how can you expect people from public to come support us too? and the money is not for the performing arts benifit lah. most of it GOES TO THE NANYANG FAMILY? and your not even supporting your own school. very nice. call yourself a nanyang girl. and you guys dont even think about the hard work and the effort that our performing arts groups have put in for the concert lah. a simple look of the prices of tickets scares you away. but the money that you pay cant pay back for our time ok. does the ticket still look ex to you?
9. food and funfair. again, i bet alot of your funfair tickets are just lying on your desks or in your bags. aargh. can you guys just make an effort to try and sell your tickets? some people just dont give a damn lah. bloody hell. the funfair is for our own school's benefit and also for charity. and you're not even doing your part to help your school to raise funds. how do you expect the school to have enough money to go and do all the repainting and the repair work? and some of you still complain that you want new coms or printers in everyclass during the dialouge session. but have you even asked yourself if you have made an effort to help the school raise funds? the school is barely surviving on this thin thread and you guys still dont care. and you expect better facilities? we're not like acsi or acs barker who are so rich that they can still effort new facilities even if they do not raise funds lah. we're not that rich can? i think the point is you guys shouldnt be so selfish lah. this food anf funfair thing was made to let us have fun and raise funds at the same time. but we shouldnt slack to the extend that we dont even care if there's a food and funfair or not. if you want to have fun, you've got to put in a little effort. simple as that.
10. fine i shall end here. just go and reflect on what you guys did lah. ranting session over.
